


Secret Dating

by Townycod13



Series: K2 Week [6]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, sp k2 week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-14 21:28:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15397842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Townycod13/pseuds/Townycod13
Summary: Mysterion thought he was doing a really good job keeping the relationship under wraps. The only issue was when it came time to get a little less private about it.





	Secret Dating

“You know, you’re going to have to tell him your identity someday, Mysterion.”

“Look, Chaos? I would appreciate if you didn’t try to give me hamfisted relationship advice while hanging me over a pit of sharks. It’s not that simple.”

Chaos rolled his eyes, an exaggerated gesture that cued Disarray to begin slowly lowering captured hero into the vat, “Well, not with that attitude! Though I suppose in a few minutes, whether or not to reveal yourself to your super boyfriend will become irrelevant because I, Chaos,--”

Mysterion picked this timing to start tuning out the professor’s monologue. It was a predictable piece that Mysterion could probably quote from memory. Or at very least guess any variation of.

Professor Chaos, powerful though he may be, just wasn’t all that good at being unpredictable despite his best efforts.

It was far more concerning how the hell the villain had a. Figured out Mysterion was dating a coworker and b. Hadn’t revealed that one most important secret yet.

And he definitely could have done without General Disarray derisive ‘how could someone  _ not _ notice?’. Little shit.

Speaking of predictable though, Mysterion held in a chuckle that neither of the dastardly duo had thought to check his underwear when disarming him. It took some fiddling but Chaos had barely finished the prologue of his speech before Mysterion had cut himself free and landed expertly on the edge of the tank.

“I hate to cut this short--” Disarray groaned at the pun, encouraging Mysterion to brandish the pocket knife victoriously, “But I don’t have time for your amateur hour couples counseling. You’re going to jail, Chaos.”

And that would have ended in an awfully predictable battle, but Mysterion miscalculated his balance on the ledge, too caught up in his small victory, and feel forward into the aquarium of actual literal sharks.

The last thing he heard before the splash was ‘aw, hamburgers’.

\--

Kenny woke up with a headache.

Which was weird. He was quite sure he should have been ripped apart by sharks. Which meant he shouldn’t have a headache. Which meant he hadn’t been ripped apart by sharks? He didn’t actually recall that particular sensation so it was a possibility.

Had Chaos just recaptured him?

He reached for his mask and sighed in relief to find it still resting comfortably on his face, eyes wide and taking in the new problem.

Where the fuck was he?

“You’re awake.”

Kenny blinked blearily, he knew that voice from somewhere. Gingerly he sat up, noting that he wasn’t bound in any way and trying to take in as much information as his waterlogged brain could.

It looked like a comfortable apartment.

He finally caught a touch of red curls and he tensed, thoughts of Disarray pulling some elaborate bullshit in the forefront of his mind.

This man was too tall to be Disarray though. Kenny blinked, trying to see if he could recognize the stranger, “Who are you?” he realized belatedly he hadn’t even bothered with the Mysterion voice.

The man grimaced a bit and placed down a book, Kenny tried to spy the title but it was lost, “Uh, see, I told him this would be awkward.”

Kenny hoped his confusion was apparent enough to prompt further explanation, speaking took so much energy.

“I’m, um, a friend of Human Kite. He said he rescued you but he had to go, um, chase after Chaos and stuff, so he left you in my care. Yeah.”

“Okay…” Kenny began slowly, piecing this together as making some sense, but also feeling a stab of sadness that his boyfriend would rather laeve him in the hands of some random person than reveal anything personal.

It was always like this. Mysterion also believed in the whole secret identiy thing and he didn’t want to risk a leak that could hurt his family, but he should  _ think _ that Kite and him knew each other well enough by now to warrant some damn trust.

Every time Mysterion tried to broach the subject, Kite was quick to dodge.

“Um, I’m Kyle, by the way. You’re… Mysterion, right?”

“Yeah.” Kenny answered. He really didn’t feel like Mysterion at the moment but it wasn’t like there was any other answer available.

He should go home and try to sleep off this entire horrible night.

“Where are we?”

“My apartment?” Kyle said awkwardly.

Kenny chuckled a little, further proof he was too tired for the stoicism of Mysterion at the moment, “No, I mean, where in the city? I should get home or help Kite or something…”

He tried to stand but Kyle was quick to rush forward and guide him back down onto the couch, “No! Dude, you almost died--uh, according to what Kite said--I’m on strict orders to give you bed rest.”

Kenny rolled his eyes,  there was something strangely familiar about the way Kyle had pushed on his chest but he couldn’t place it, “I’m not gonna get a very restful sleep covered in body armor and wearing a mask, just saying.”

“ _ Still _ .” Kyle persisted, worry lacing his words and expression.

Kenny relented.

Besides, maybe he could finally get some information on his super boyfriend.

“So you’re friends with Kite, right?” he began, watching as Kyle stiffened at the mention with interest, “Do you know him in the suit or out of it?”

“I--” Kyle bit his lip, thinking through his answer carefully, “I don’t think I should tell you if Kite hasn’t.”

Damnit. Kenny rolled his eyes again, despite being stone-walled though, this guy clearly wasn’t as adept at hiding answers as he could be, “So you know who he is?”

That stung.

Kite didn’t trust him but he did trust this guy, whoever he is, with that nugget of private information.

“I didn’t say that!” Kyle snapped.

“You may as well have. Dude, I interrogate crooks on a regular basis. If you wanna hide something from me, you’re gonna need ot do better than that.” he offered the boy a crooked smile.

Kyle looked on with a strange emotion, “You’re different--I mean, different from how you seem on tv and how Kite described you. He said you were pretty guarded.”

“I am.” Kenny shrugged, “My head just really hurts right now and also I keep getting upsetting news after upsetting news.”

“...upsetting news?”

Kenny considered this. Clearly Kite trusted this guy with both of their identities, considering he'd just been dumped here without a care unconscious, and Kenny trusted kite’s judgment. Even if he was an asshole sometimes.

What could sharing a little hurt?

“Well, for starters, how would  _ you _ feel if your boyfriend left you at some random guys apartment, like you said after you almost died, not caring to stay until you woke up or see if you even  _ would _ wake up and said random guy knows more about your boyfriend than  _ you _ do.”

It all came out more resentful than Kenny had intended. He didn’t really want to take it out on Kyle, as annoying as another guy in Kite’s life was, Kyle seemed like an okay guy who was just doing his best in an awkward situation,. Besides, he seemed genuinely worried about Mysterion’s wellbeing. Which was pretty rare.

“Oh.” was all Kyle said for awhile, looking uncomfortable, “I guess that would be upsetting. Um, I’m sure Kite has his reasons. He would totally be here if he could.”

Kenny barked out a laugh, “And risk revealing an precious private information? I think not. Sometimes I seriously doubt he even  _ wants _ this relationship. He keeps stone-walling me.”

“Maybe you’re stone-walling him too.” Kyle muttered, a bit annoyed sounding.

Kenny raised an eyebrow, “Yeah? What would you know?”

“More than you apparently.” ow, that was right where it hurt, “Kite told  _ me _ that you never share anything. You barely ever even show emotion, much less express whether or not you care."

“ _ Obviously _ I care! And everytime I try to talk to him about identities and shit, he shuts me down!”

“You never--I mean, he said that you never broach that topic! Too dangerous and shit.”

“I do so!” Kenny only blearily realized he had completely shed is Mysterion persona, “What do you do on your days off or do you think we should try looking at this from a new angle, that sort of shit!”

“That’s misleading!” Kyle was glaring daggers, “That just sounds like you want to patrol more days or something!”

“I--that’s not--well he should listen to everything I have to say before he just assumes stuff!” Kenny stood up to match the others height, ignoring the way it gave him a new dizzy spell, “He’s too busy thinking he knows everything to actually listen to what I’m sayin’!”

“That’s rich, coming from Mr. Won’t-Speak-Unless-Strictly-Necessary! I’ve never even see you really  _ smile _ before today, do you know how that feels?!”

A tick of silence froze the air as the words settled on the pair.

Kenny’s eyes widened to saucers as he looked into what he realized was a very familiar green, mortified horror dancing across the unmasked features.

Kenny tried to swallow but in a situation where breathing was a significant challenge, swallowing might just be impossible.

He tried to review the conversation but his mind was too muggy for the details to hold and he had no idea if it was the panicked shock or his earlier headache.

“Kite?”

He hadn’t meant to speak, much less so softly, barely carrying the distance to his partner. Kyle flinched back, looking to the side guiltily.

“...I wouldn’t just leave you unconscious with some random asshole.” Kyle muttered, eyes trained on the floor.

He looked vulnerable. Upset. Kenny felt his heart shrivel a bit. He hadn’t wanted it to be like this and he never wanted Kite--Kyle to feel so exposed against his wishes.

That didn’t give him much choice but Kenny didn’t hesitate, raising his still shaken hand to his face and deftly detaching his mask.

Kyle’s eyes shot up just as Kenny lowered his hood, “Hi, I’m Kenny.”

He wished there was a way to say that without sounding so stiff but it was a difficult situation.

Kenny pressed on, nerves propelling him to speak more than he wanted to, “I’m… not really a cool or stoic person. I’m probably disappointing, to be honest,” Kenny didn’t think he’d ever felt this nervous in his life, laying down facts in a shaking voice to an audience that had his heart in his hand, “I’m a bit of an asshole and, uh, I’m not really sure what else. I’m kind of boring.”

Kyle snorted, “Because dressing up as a batman rip-off and fighting crime is boring.”

It was meant to lighten the mood but Kenny wasn’t sure he was ready for the humor, “I mean, that’s Mysterion.” he shrugged helplessly, “I’m just Kenny.”

There was a thoughtful twinkle to Kyle’s eyes, one that Kenny could recognize from a million different plans that his partner had come up with, in this form and directed at him it left him feeling all the more exposed. As though Kyle was seeing all there was.

Finally, Kyle held out a hand, “Hi, Kenny. I’m Kyle, a boring reporter with a boring boyfriend.”

Kenny reached out and shook the hand, a sudden anxiety striking him, “I’m the boyfriend, right? Because i was freaking the fuck out earlier about your relationship with this Kyle-guy is and whether or not I should be jealous--”

Kyle, like the smart guy he was, decided this was good timing to kiss his stupid boring boyfriend silly.


End file.
